Narcissism is a personality trait that involves a grandiose sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration and validation. Narcissists often have a distorted view of reality and believe that they are superior, special, and entitled to special treatment. Narcissists can be charming, charismatic, and persuasive, but they can also be manipulative, exploitative, and abusive.

Narcissists can cause a lot of problems in the workplace, such as creating a toxic work environment, undermining the performance and morale of others, taking credit for other people’s work, blaming others for their mistakes, and demanding constant praise and attention. Narcissists can also be difficult to deal with, as they are resistant to feedback, criticism, or change. They may react with anger, hostility, or retaliation when they feel challenged, threatened, or ignored.

Some examples of narcissistic behavior are:

• Taking over meetings or conversations and dominating the discussion
• Interrupting or dismissing others’ opinions or ideas
• Bragging about their achievements or skills and exaggerating their contributions
• Expecting special favors or privileges from others
• Making unrealistic or excessive demands or requests
• Ignoring or violating rules or policies
• Lying or cheating to get ahead or avoid consequences
• Taking advantage of others’ time, resources, or goodwill
• Criticizing or belittling others’ work or performance
• Blaming others for their failures or shortcomings
• Refusing to admit mistakes or apologize
• Making excuses or rationalizing their behavior
• Playing the victim or the hero
• Seeking sympathy or admiration from others
• Flattering or manipulating others to get what they want
• Giving false or insincere compliments or praise
• Being envious or resentful of others’ success or happiness
• Sabotaging or undermining others’ work or reputation

If you work with a narcissist, whether it is your colleague or your boss, you may feel frustrated, stressed, or even depressed. You may also experience self-doubt, guilt, or anxiety. You may wonder how to cope with the situation and protect yourself from the negative effects of narcissism.

Here are some tips on how to identify and deal with narcissistic colleagues or bosses:

• Learn to recognize the signs of narcissism. Some common signs are: excessive self-confidence, arrogance, entitlement, exaggeration of achievements or talents, lack of empathy or concern for others, need for admiration and validation, manipulation or exploitation of others, inability to admit mistakes or apologize, defensiveness or hostility when challenged or criticized, envy or resentment of others’ success or happiness.
• Set healthy boundaries and limits. Do not let the narcissist take advantage of you or violate your rights or needs. Be assertive and communicate clearly what you expect and what you will not tolerate. Do not give in to the narcissist’s demands or expectations if they are unreasonable or unfair. Do not let the narcissist guilt-trip you or make you feel responsible for their feelings or problems.
• Maintain your self-esteem and confidence. Do not let the narcissist undermine your sense of worth or competence. Remember your strengths and achievements and value yourself as a person. Do not take the narcissist’s criticism or insults personally. Do not compare yourself to the narcissist or try to please them. Do not seek their approval or validation.
• Seek support and feedback from others. Do not isolate yourself or feel alone in dealing with the narcissist. Reach out to your friends, family, co-workers, or other trusted people who can offer you emotional support and objective feedback. Share your feelings and experiences and ask for advice or guidance. You may also benefit from professional help from a therapist or counselor if you feel overwhelmed or depressed.
• Focus on your own goals and well-being. Do not let the narcissist distract you from your work or personal life. Concentrate on your tasks and responsibilities and do your best. Celebrate your achievements and reward yourself for your efforts. Pursue your interests and hobbies and enjoy your time off. Take care of yourself physically and mentally by eating well, exercising regularly, sleeping enough, and managing stress.
• Avoid unnecessary conflict and drama. Do not engage in arguments or disputes with the narcissist that are unproductive or futile. Do not try to change them or prove them wrong. Do not let them bait you into reacting emotionally or defensively. Do not take their bait personally. Stay calm and rational and stick to the facts.
• Detach emotionally and mentally. Do not let the narcissist affect your mood or well-being. Do not let them get under your skin. Do not let them control you with fear, guilt, anger, shame, etc. Do not take their behavior personally. Recognize that their behavior is a reflection of their issues and insecurities.
• Document and report any abusive or unethical behavior. Do not tolerate any behavior that is harmful, illegal, or unethical. Keep a record of any incidents or evidence that show the narcissist’s misconduct or mistreatment. Report any serious or repeated violations to the appropriate authority, such as your supervisor, human resources, or legal department. Seek legal advice or protection if necessary.